weakness

Lately I've been going crazy. Feeling completely inadaquit (more like unwilling) to the tasks the Lord has put before me, selfishly feeling sorry for myself about everything. Crying out to God, not understanding why He wont help me out of this slump, I feel so far away from Him. I read my Bible and walk away not knowing what I just read, totally overwhelmed with all the things I need to get done and expect myself to do. Going through the motions of what a Christian should do, Then I am consumed with worry over what others see in me, more so than what God sees me as! (not good). I see others around me full of the Spirit, flowing with this Joy that doesn't make sense.. And I want that, deep realtionship with My Lord, I want it. but I can't in my own power get it. I cant fill myself with this joy.
I'm starting to understand, through my emotional pit falls I see how short I fall of perfection! Jesus is Truth and I am a hypocrite, a liar, and at my best a pityfull Pharisee, Yuck! I'm willing to accept God's Grace for my own sin, but not willing to extend that grace to those around me. Who am I to judge, I cant even function. and in realizing this truth, that I am weak. I hear the Lord "in my weakness He is made strong." I dont need anything apart from my Lord, and a lot more of Him. I am so blessed. God has given me so much more than just what I need. and He's here with me just waiting for me to stop playing religion and start having a realtionship with Him, with Jesus. This is hard for me, I dont know how. I've been trying to win others over by being super spiritual in my own power, and totally overlooking the freedom I have in Him. Jesus not only saved me from Hell, which is what I deserve, but His mercies are new everyday! Salvation from my everyday situations from the rules and standards I have put on myself to be a good person. To in my own power win people over for the Lord, I can't do it! I need His forgiveness, I need His grace, and His truth. I need to stop and let Him work in me, again and again! He forgives me, for nothing I did, but His grace is that great.
Pray for me to continue to surrender.

I'm In Love

In 1997, I in my whole 12 years of wisdom, saw Adam walking through the jr high halls of warrenton grade school with his giant grin and those sparkly blue smiley eyes! I fell in love... Looking back at who we were and thinking about how my little nieve brain worked then, it is amazing to me that the Lord brought us together then!

On the day we got married I thought I couldn't love him more, since then we've had many moments of "intense fellowship" and I know we've both had moments of dissapointment in oneanother. Once I realized I can't depend on him for my happiness, that comes from the Lord. I have to be complete in Christ first and foremost! The pressure I put on Adam, to be there for me all the time, was refocused onto a more worthy prospect, The Lord. People no matter how much they care for you will dissapoint, but My Jesus won't.

Th Lord has blessed us to have eachother. And again, I look back and see how much I loved him before has changed into an much deeper, more real love. It's been amazing watching Adam grow from the cocky little 13 year old boy I had a huge crush on, to the amazing Leader of our family he is now! Jesus has changed him, I am so grateful to have gotten to watch his transition! He has become this bold, loving husband and daddy, I couldn't have imagined him as this man The Lord has made him into.

Enduring those moments of fellowship, while not always enjoyable, has matured our relatioship with the Lord and one another. much like James 1 says that it would!

@ the beach

Eli Aaron






We've discovered that the boys have a great love, which is lacking any sort of fear, for the ocean, and the river. We had opportunities to spend some time at the beach this summer and they love playing in the sand. But as soon as they catch a glimps of that water, it's trouble! They both take off running in different directions straight for it, with no hesitation, even after they feel the water, they are still running! It freaks me out! Anyhow we've had a lot of fun watching the boys learn to love their surroundings. Now we need to teach them a healthy fear for one of God's amazing and powerful pieces of creation!

pondering...

I've been thinking about that scripture in Luke 18 a lot lately, where Jesus counsels the young rich man. He tells him to sell all that he has and follow Him. The rich man goes away sad, the bible doesn't mention him again...
I wonder what happened to that man? Was he one of those saved after Jesus' death and ressurection?? What all did he miss out on by choosing the world rather than following the LORD'S will? What do we miss out on by thinking we know what's best for us, rather than surrendering to the LORD? I don't want to miss out in what the Lord has in store for me. Whatever we are going through Jesus has the power to give and take away. So why hold on, and try to control our lives? He was offering that man a freedom from this world system, but he gave him freewill to choose. He wasn't trying to restrict him, but bless him.
It makes sense to me right now, but it's not always as easy as I would like it to be. Surrendering, especially when we're not sure what God is telling us to do. It doesn't make sense to the world, even to us sometimes. I want freedom from the world and it's systems, I want to surrender to His will!

Family Getaway

Memorial Day weekend, we went on a mini vacation. We stayed in a night in the sweet little town of Gig Harbor, and took the boys to Cabela's and the Point Defiance Zoo and Aquarium. It was fun to get a chance to spend time with our little family!
The boys loved getting out and exploring all there was to see! We made friends with the Walrus at the zoo, they enjoyed playing at the Zoo'z Park. I think their favorite part was Cabela's. You should have heard thier squeels of joy, as they stared into the fish aquairium, and seen the gleams in their eyes as they pointed and discussed(in their own private language, of course) the wildlife display! Dad is very proud, he seems to have two boys who already share his love for the outdoors.
I always love to getaway with our little family. It's so nice to take a break from our day to day routine to play! Everytime we go somewhere I'm reminded of how blessed we are to have eachother!

@ the House

*Laundry Helpers*I am so bad at laundry! I wash and dry then, toss them into our pack n play to 'fold later'... two weeks go by and I am still washing and drying, but now digging for clothes and tossing them back into the dryer before we can get dressed for the day! Someday, I'll get caught up, The boys don't mind the digging part. They are great at helping!

We had so much fun playing, and doing shave cream art! The boys loved to squish it between their fingers, plus they smelled so good like little men even after the bath!

A cardboard box with your brother is better than an entire room full of toys! This keeps them entertained for hours!

Are They Twins?

The boys get tons of attention, everywhere we go strangers are full of questions! It's funny to answer the same silly questions and see people notice the boys. We are kind of a freak show! Aaron and Eli both love it, they watch people with big grins waiting to be noticed by people everywhere we go! I know that everyone is well meaning and obviously I agree that they are two incredibly good looking boys, it is hard not to stare!

It is an amazing experience being the mother of twins, and there are countless blessings for mom and dad, as well as for the boys. But sometimes I feel bad for them, they don't get noticed as individuals. When one of them reaches a milestone, instead of celebrating his success, people ask did his brother do it too? Then there's extra expectations for the other one to hurry up and "catch up". It's not fair to them.

They are two DIFFERENT INDIVIDUALS; two souls, two separate creations.

Now, that being said I would like to help you get to know our sons Eli (left) and Aaron (right).

Aaron Mitchell Neahring

Aaron likes to stay at home, he loves playing outside, his brother, blueberries, throwing balls, sticks, rocks and bathtime. When we go places he's content as long as mom or dad are in view. He likes to be passenger when they pretend to drive dad's truck. Aaron wears his emotions on his sleeve, you know what he's thinking. HE is great at sharing most things, especially with his bro, whether or not the item he is sharing is desired by his Eli.

Eli William Neahring

Eli likes to check out new places, he loves to be chased, climbing up things, his brother, cheese, talking on the phone, balls, bathtime and books. When we go places Eli is usually content letting others hold and play with him, with or without mom or dad nearby. So far, when the boys pretend to drive Eli is usually the one behind the wheel. Eli, is still working on the sharing thing, but he's getting great at thank you after he is shared with, he graciuosly recieves from his big brother!